🙁 Discomforting Moments

We are in a fast-moving world and an era of quick fixes. Hardly anyone wants to be dealing face-to-face with failures, and failures are easier to cope with when there is a winning story trailing that failure. We want the soft life; we want things to work out. I am not a psychologist, and this is not therapy but musing on how discomforting situations and moments can make us do desperate things in our bid to fix them.

Social media does very little to help because even when you find spaces where someone may have that soul-soothing content, you still have those moments you can't quite describe. Maybe you feel discontent or discomfort or anger, or you suddenly feel bored just scrolling through social media. The next thing is how to fix this feeling, but what if some of those discomforting moments do not require fixing?

But that is what life is. We cannot be happy all the time, and it is not said enough how much of reality and what many of us define as life has been distorted. You may even be ashamed to confront how much your phone has disrupted how your brain processes the simplest things. Suddenly, you are scrambling for the patience to find a moment to process things because you are in a hurry so you don't miss out on anything. What exactly are you missing out on? ... you may not be able to clearly define it.

In retrospect, I think we need to embrace the sad, "comme ci comme ça," I-don't-know-how-I-am-feeling moments as much as we cling to joy and winnings or how much we try to quickly move on from a loss. We have to learn to sit in with those discomforting moments even when they are difficult because it is life. Maybe we find our way out of it, maybe we can suppress it, but we have to learn the art of sitting with ourselves and sit thoroughly through it.

In sitting with discomforts, we do the soul searching, the hard work of breaking down those "happiness" walls we have built as a shield to avoid the pain we feel in our lives and the loss we are dealing with. We must take the bits of our lives to process them so we genuinely move on without the plastic makeover makeshift containers we have shoved ourselves into as we go about our daily hustle.

To say to ourselves in some of those quiet alone moments; I am not happy today, and it is okay, or I feel some discomfort; I am not my usual giddy self, but that is life. It is just fine, and nothing is wrong with me on some of those days. If I can take the moment to process my feelings and wait this through, then I can know what to do next, or maybe I don't need to do anything.

In trying to suppress a feeling of sadness or dissatisfaction or any form of discomfort we are dealing with, it may result in massaging ourselves with the destructive balms we have created through the imaginations in our head from our frame of references as the solution. Sitting through discomfort will help you build the critical thinking you need to define what exactly you are feeling and to make decisions about your choices, relationships, and things you need to walk away from. If you can't sit with the discomforts and process things rather than jumping to rash conclusions, then you may find it difficult to make hard, life-changing decisions when it matters.

That is why they say "patience is a virtue" and being patient, especially in this fast tech age, requires a strong will.

To be happy all the time is a tall order, if not impossible, and these moments of discomfort may be one of those. Not every time someone is after you, or your village people are up your ass, or something is wrong. It just is. It is life. You can try your best, and things still go wrong. You wake up on some mornings, and you are not feeling up to it even when the sun is up and shining and it is a beautiful day. It should not be every time you want to fix things up and make them better. Just sit it through sometimes, take a moment for yourself by yourself, take a nap, cry out the emotions, take a walk, spill it in your journal, or do just anything to hold you back from making a rash decision. Something that can slow you down and help you build patience and grace in these hard moments.

Tell yourself, "It is life, and it will be okay".