Some days back, I saw a post on X (formerly Twitter) about a 14-year-old girl named Mercy Vangervihi who was allegedly brutally assaulted by a 15-year-old male classmate named Goodluck Bison. I would spare you the gory details of how an innocent girl sleeping in her house was attacked and now fights for her life with life-threatening injuries in the hospital somewhere in Ebonyi State Nigeria. Women are angry, already tired, boiling over but what will change?
On the news headlines from Avignon, France is another disturbing story about a man, Dominique Pélicot on trial who is alleged to have drugged his wife, Gisèle Pélicot by mixing ground sleeping pills into his wife's food and drink and inviting dozen of men to rape her 92 rapes were committed by 83 men, and 51 men are heading to trial. The details had me hollering.
In Uganda, the Olympian marathon runner, Rebbeca Cheptegi has suffered more than burns from petrol covering over 75% of her body after being allegedly set on fire by her ex-partner.
In 2021, Kenyan Olympian Agnes Jebet Tirop was stabbed by her husband.
In 2022, Osinachi Nwachukwu, a well-known female gospel artist passed on based on Initial reports of throat cancer. After her relatives came out publicly with "receipts" to allege that she had been a victim of domestic abuse, it created such a loud public outcry that raised the dust of covering up domestic abuse in Nigerian society enabled by culture and religion.
In 2023, a report by the Canadian Femicide Observatory for Justice and Accountability found that at least one femicide happens every 48 hours in Canada which represents a 27% increase in the number of killings of women and girls involving male perpetrators in 2022 compared to pre-pandemic levels in 2019.
The list goes on and on....because we can only talk about and quote figures we know. Too many victims remain unknown and cases unreported.
In 2021, the UN Women press release mentioned that 1 in 3 women globally experience violence. Approximately 736 million women worldwide have experienced physical or sexual violence, either by a partner or someone else. This number has remained relatively unchanged for the past decade. 30% of women have experienced intimate partner violence or non-partner sexual violence."This violence starts early: 1 in 4 young women (aged 15-24 years) who have been in a relationship will have already experienced violence by an intimate partner by the time they reach their mid-twenties". A situation that became even worse with the COVID-19 global lockdown putting more women in danger.
With over 300 million young people experiencing online sexual abuse and exploitation as Into The Light report by Kelvin Lay has shown, one wonders what can be done to protect more women across the globe like we don not already know what we should be doing to protect women and young girls. In this internet age with questions on platform owners' accountability, there are already too many unhinged characters online ready to rationalize thier opinions that aggravates the already dangerous side of the Alpha Male "syndrome" built on misogynistic ideologies propageted by influencers with huge platforms disguised as "open speech".
The shock of a 15-year-old boy brutalizing a 14-year-old girl unprovoked makes you sick and angry because you begin wonder what exactly was he thinking? what sort of media has he been consuming that he can allegedly single handedly pull-off somethng that chilling? What kind of household did he grow up in? who are his friends, his mentors? what if this is not the first time? What if he is part of a gang?
What manner of rehabilitation can such a boy get in a society with a deeply broken system and social-cultural practices that set women and young girls up for failure and public ridicule? why should men get a slap on the wrist for such depravity but women are shamed as victims?
On Tiktok, there have been countless post from all over the globe of girls bruralized by thier partners, non-partners and they have been shamed for choosing to stay with such such a partner. There is also the case of the Somali who was badly beaten by her brother because she did not wear hijab online and the comments that followed were so shocking -deviod of empathy.
Too many women and yound girls have perished and continue to.Those unconscuous-subtle practices, comments and jokes become the soil inside which these ideologies that women are weaker creatures and must remain subservient to males are sown. The fruits are manisfested in the way young boys try to shut down girls thier age or younger. The seeds sown by culture that considers cat-calling woman as though thier purpose in life is be an object of men's affection. The seeds sown when young men grow up thinking thier gaze and affection should be central to the existence of women. The seeds parents sow when they allow girls to do all the chores while the boys do nothing will eventually bear fruits. The seeds sown when parents pusnish girls for staying out late but let the boy off the hook bears fruits. The seeds sown when men abuse thier female partners in the presence of thier children have will bear fruits. The seeds sown when women are delibertely not educated and empowered, rather they are controlled. Seeds sown when young grils are groomed for only marriage and child bearing - no other goal in life than to cater mens and ambitions.
Fruits in the form of adult men who disrespects women without batting an eyelid; testosterone-worshipping men with exaggeraged egos and personalities; men who suddenly see women as objects and propoerties they can own and use; men who think women should not have ambitions, opinions beyond raising children and doing thankless chores; men who excuse rape and abuse by blaming the woman; men who's first instinct is seek out and tame women who have chosen freedom; men who are eager to beat-up a woman who challenges them and men who believe a woman dares not to reject them.
How much martial arts can a woman learn when you can not exactly tell who the predator will be or when they will attack? how many battles are you going to fight? You see how Mercy was sleeping, yet someone walked in on her unprovoked. What can martial arts or pepper spray do for her at that state of vulnerability? Why should it have happened in the first place?
Today another story. Tomorrow, there will be another one with people who are quick to be empathic towards the man, rationalize his actions but withdraw their support and sympathy for the woman. There is likely a man somewhere plotting how to rape a woman and a bunch of people who are willing to tell why she deserved it.
Men who attack women, will always find thier reason to behave violently towards women.