The Grace For Little Things

When you hear that we should also extend the grace we give to others to ourselves, you have to think deeply to understand what that means in practice. Yesterday I watched an Instagram reel of a woman who spoke about her journey from a broken relationship to falling in love with "an underdog"—who eventually left her with children. Not that she was speaking from a place of pity, but even in that heartbreak that she was dealing with, she was gracious to the man, whom she hoped was going to rise because of the potential she assumed he had. People in the comment section had a lot to say, but one comment stood out for me, which was that she needed to also extend the grace she is giving that man to herself. That stayed with me.

The urge and the trap to be selfless and nice for others but not ourselves. The trap of being so serious about life and deep into our daily schedule is that we can't convince ourselves to have the little things and little moments. To take a moment to look at the skies, laugh out loud, and get a hug and just resist the urge to take everything personally. Stiff-necked and pressure gathered on your shoulders. Please take a moment to breathe!

As adults, we put in a lot of effort, and for women, the work and emotional labour can be a lifelong commitment when raising a family. We must prioritize our well-being as women, investing the same determination we apply to raising our families to take care of ourselves. Working so hard only to be unable to afford the small things we desire can lead to accumulated regrets over time. No, I am not the kind of mother who wants to live the life I missed through my children.

I have been thinking of buying myself this summer-inspired Tim Hortons mug. I have thought about it time and time again, but then I justify not buying that fancy mug with an excuse. Some of the excuses are valid because I am calculating the bills in the middle of a big project, and the others are flimsy. It has also been the same with getting myself more red lipstick (my favourite colour) since I am trying as many shades of red lipstick as I want. I go back and forth in my thought pattern to ascertain if those things are ranked needs or wants. Also, if those things, whether they be needs or wants, where do they fit on the priority list?

Tims Mug

Tims Mug

Red Lipsticks

As you stroll through the mall and spot a red dress you admire or a book by your favourite author, those excuses (and sometimes, lies) begin to cloud your thoughts. You try to persuade yourself to resist the urge, yet those thoughts and desire to buy persist in your subconscious. Despite your best efforts to quell the urge to purchase that bag, perfume, dress, meal, phone, car, or vacation, the desire to own it is more compelling. So, I suppose you simply give in and move on. That's what I did, and now I am at peace. Perhaps not having a stronger reason for sustaining the resistance is a sign to give in, unless I can cook up some stronger resistance.

Life is about growth, and the old me would argue and then not buy these things, but the new me is all about deliberate well-being. I am even more determined to keep the promises I make to myself. Being in a country that affords me the opportunity to expand my experience about life, dream up wild ideas, and test things out is a blessing. To be able to access some of the vital resources to support your dreams as woman—little things like steady internet and electricity—can be beneficial to your online content creation dream.

Smiling with in my red lop stick

Well, I got my mug and the lipsticks in four different shades. What's the worst that can happen spending that money? Well, I figured heaven didn't fall, and my bills were paid in full.

The mug, a lipstick, a huge bouquet of red roses, or even a cup of pistachio ice cream are likely at the bottom of my list of priority needs and the pressing bills, but a girl needs to live first. To allow myself the pleasure of having the little vanities I crave. As much as I forgive myself more now for flops, slacks, and mistakes, I also need to spend my money buying those things I want. I would argue that if I am not able to enjoy my life, I don't even know the kind of examples I am setting for my children or how I can inspire them if I have unresolved baggage of emotions, regrets, and many had-I-knowns.

If you want something, go get it. If you have something to say, by all means, open your mouth and let it out. If you want to cry, let the tears run till you get the relief. If you want to scream, shout till your lungs are gone. If you have a dream, pursue it. Live and value this life God Almighty has given you while you can.

The trick is to be disciplined with moderation because I also need to invest, but live I must, and live it wholesome and full. So help me, God!